Finding Balance in the Christian Life
from The Successful Christian Life
Lesson One from The Successful Christian Life by Dr. Mike Holloway
Without doubt, one of the most difficult areas in the Christian life is that of maintaining balance between important areas. The best way to develop the proper kind of balance is to examine what God has already said about this difficult subject.
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”Matthew 5:48
Here, God has given a command to every Christian to be perfect. How can we accomplish this? First, we must realize that the word perfect means mature or balanced. When a person first learns to ride a bicycle, he weaves all over the place because he is unbalanced. Once he gains experience, he is then able to ride in a straight line showing that he has become an experienced or matured cyclist. When Jesus challenged His followers to be perfect, He was actually telling them to become balanced in their Christian lives.
AREAS WHERE WE MUST HAVE BALANCE
In our family relationships
Spouse versus children
Many marriages are hurt and sometimes even broken by divorce because a wife allows her care of the children to get out of balance.
The typical situation involves a wife having a baby and pouring herself into her relationship with the baby to the neglect of the husband.
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”Matthew 19:4-6
God Himself has supernaturally joined a husband and wife in a one-flesh relationship that NO ONE (not even children) is allowed to destroy.
Spouse versus parents
Three killers of marriages that need to be constantly guarded against are money, the physical relationship, and in-laws.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”Genesis 2:24
One of the biggest problems in marriages occurs when people get married, and they try to cleave to the spouse without letting go of the parents.
Great harm is done when spouses criticize their mate to a parent. Criticism causes a loss of respect in the eyes of the parent which will only add fuel to the fire when troubles come.
Proper balance is achieved when a spouse learns to honor the spouse over and above the parents. A transfer of love from the parents to the spouse must take place.
Individual versus a friend
More Christians are spiritually hurt by friends than by enemies.
In 2 Samuel 13:3, Amnon had friend who used his influence to encourage Amnon to rape his half-sister Tamar. When Absalom finally carried out his plans to murder Amnon, Jonadab was nowhere to be found!
We have a responsibility to the Lord to protect our spiritual condition. We must be willing to separate ourselves from best friends and even relatives if they are hurting us spiritually.
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”Proverbs 27:17
This verse is one that contains both a blessing and curse. It is a tremendous blessing when a person runs with the right crowd because his friends will help him become a better Christian.
However, if he spends time with a gossip, then he will eventually become one. If he is spending time with a critic, he will soon be criticizing also!
In our walk with God
Family versus church
Backsliders have done much to promote the idea that a person cannot do justice to both the family and the church. However, Dr. Bob Jones, Sr. said it best, “Duties don’t conflict.”
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”Matthew 11:30
Have some people become too involved in the church to the neglect of the family? Sure they have, but it was not the fault of the church nor was that person in the will of God when they allowed that to happen! The most common situation that occurs is when there are marital problems from which someone is trying to escape. That individual uses a place of serving the Lord as a way of escaping the problems at home.
The church was created by the Lord to be the perfect complement to the home and an added blessing to parents in helping them build godly homes.
“And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”Hebrews 10:24-25
Bible versus prayer versus soul winning
Everyone has a tendency to major on what he likes and enjoys and to ignore that which is not fun.
Bible study is extremely important to our Christian lives.
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”2 Timothy 2:15
If all a person does is study his Bible without ever using it to help people, he is severely out of balance!
Prayer is another vital element of the Christian life.
“But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.”Jude 20-21
When we pray, we talk to God. Instead of doing all the talking, we need to make sure we are doing a lot of listening to what He has to say!
The third great element of walking with God is soul winning!
“Serving the Lord with all humility of mind, and with many tears, and temptations, which befell me by the lying in wait of the Jews: And how I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you, but have shewed you,and have taught you publickly, and from house to house, Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.”Acts 20:19-21
Paul was a man of great learning who knew the Scriptures and was also a man of prayer. He was also a man of balance because he put his Bible knowledge to work with his praying to bring about converts in his house-to-house soul winning.
God versus friends
There should never have to be a choice made between the Lord and a so-called friend. Why? A true friend is a person sent by God to bring a person into an even closer walk with Him!
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”Proverbs 27:6
A God-sent friend is going to be faithful to be God’s mouthpiece in keeping a person straight with godly counsel.
HOW TO GET THE PROPER BALANCE
We must find out what the Bible has to say about the relationship. There is no problem that does not have a solution. God has already placed His solutions in the Bible. Our job is to search out God’s desire.
We must realize that balance will never be achieved permanently in this life.
Balance is obtained by making constant changes.
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