Lesson One from The Christian Home by Dr. Mike Holloway

One of the major reasons many homes are experiencing difficulties is that most Christians do not have the slightest idea why the home exists. Because of this ignorance of God’s purpose for the home, some hurtful extremes exist that need to be avoided at all costs.

1. Some families are too close. Children are not supposed to be raised by selfish parents for the sole pleasure of the parent but for the pleasure of the Lord. Some families are so closely knit that they smother the will of God for their children. Grown children should be encouraged by their parents to actively seek God’s will for their lives and not to shut God’s will out because of concern for the parents.
2. Some families are too informal. Kids have no business calling their parents by their first name. Parents have no business revealing their nakedness to their kids, whether it be while swimming or lounging around the house. Parents should not belittle or criticize church leaders to their kids or in their presence. The most immediate result is a bad attitude manifesting in the child toward the criticized leader.
3. Some families are too recreation-oriented. Some families are always on the run to ball games, trips, picnics, or vacations and are so busy having fun, they do not have any time left to serve God or be faithful to church. Families need to try to strike a balance between recreation and serving the Lord.

In this lesson, we are going to examine five of the most important purposes of a Christian home.

THE FAMILY IS TO BE A PORTRAIT OF HEAVEN!

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Genesis 3:16

The Christian home should be a reflection of heaven itself in every way.

It should reflect heaven’s leadership. Just as heaven is ruled by God the Father, God intended for the home to be under the leadership of the father.

It should reflect heaven’s fellowship. Just as heaven was a place of unequaled fellowship among the Trinity, so the home was intended by God to be a haven of love and unequaled compassion and fellowship.

It should reflect heaven’s security. Eternal security is the Christian’s great security blanket against the damnation and judgment the world will one day experience. Home is to be a place of unconditional love, no matter what circumstances may come. Every child should be made to feel secure without worrying about a potential divorce. Every husband and wife should feel they can give their mate total and complete trust and should never have to worry about the possibility of an affair.

THE FAMILY IS TO BE A SCHOOL FOR PROBLEM-SOLVING!

“And Isaac dwelt in Gerar: 7 And the men of the place asked him of his wife; and he said, She is my sister: for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah; because she was fair to look upon.”

Genesis 26:6-7

In Genesis chapter twelve, a famine was creating some problems in Abraham’s life to the point that he quit trusting the Lord to take care of him. When the famine came, Abraham did two things he later regretted. First, he immediately escaped to Egypt. Second, in order to further protect himself, he lied about his wife being his sister. In Genesis chapter twenty-six, Abraham’s grown son, Isaac, was facing a famine; and unfortunately, making too many of the same mistakes his father made.

Every parent and grandparent needs to wake up to the fact that we teach more by example than by instruction. This is one of the major causes of problems in homes. We are teaching our kids by example the wrong solution for the problems they face. One day, they will grow up and duplicate our mistakes.

An unhappy marriage is usually solved by getting a divorce because that is how mom and dad handled their problem. Shouting and arguing is the norm in many homes because one if not both spouses grew up in homes that resembled battlefields and jousting tournaments more than a place that glorified God. Husbands lose their temper and beat on their wives because they learned it from their own fathers. Wives boss their husbands and run the home because they had bossy, domineering mothers who taught them how to handle wimpy husbands.

The first great step to changing our homes is to recognize this dangerous tendency to pattern our homes after the one in which we grew up instead of the pattern in the Bible.

THE FAMILY IS TO BE A SCHOOL FOR TEACHING GODLINESS.

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

It is not the primary responsibility of the church to teach children right and wrong. That responsibility has always belonged to the parents. The church should be teaching the parents who then take that teaching home and share it with their children. The church should be reinforcing the teaching of the home, not replacing it! How are parents to instruct their children concerning Godly living?

The matter of training a child is actually a combination of factors, at least three of which are mentioned in Deuteronomy chapter six.

1. (vs. 7) – “Talk of them” – Parents are to teach Godliness to their children by constantly talking about the Bible in every situation and how its teachings fit. The idea is that the Bible should become a reference Book which is constantly consulted, much as a lawyer would constantly refer to law books. The Bible should be a part of the home and be mentioned or referred to on a daily basis.
2. (vs. 8) – “Bind them” – Parents are also to teach Godliness by living what they are saying. The Word of God was to be bound or worn to be seen of others. It was not the children that were to have them bound but the parents. One of the most damaging behaviors of which parents can be guilty is to talk about the Bible when it is convenient but never allow themselves to be bound by it or surrendered to it.
3. (vs. 9) – “Write them” – The last factor is to ensure that the Word of God is stamped on the entire family. That means that parents are to make their kids live under Biblical guidelines while living at home.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

This verse is one of promise and hope for all godly parents who have raised their children to do right, only to see their kids rebel against their Christian upbringing. Why do churched kids grow up and jump into the world? Probably the greatest reason is
curiosity! Worldly kids have grown up around moral filth, and if they get saved, they are also curious! A worldly child might wonder what would it be like to go to church and change his life? By the same token, too many churched kids are wanting to explore the world and taste the fruit of sin.

The Bible offers a word of encouragement in this verse for those parents who raised their kids Scripturally. They might run off into the far country, but once they wake up in the hog pen, they will eventually return home! If they do not, perhaps, this is God’s way of revealing the fact that while they professed to be saved, they were lost while growing up and in church.

One of the biggest shocks and surprises awaiting Christians in heaven is how many church members will not be there! (Matthew 7:22-23)

THE FAMILY IS TO BE A PLACE OF PREPARATION!

“And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine. 6 But they said, We will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons for ever: 7 Neither shall ye build house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents; that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers. 8 Thus have we obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab our father in all that he hath charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, nor our daughters; 9 Nor to build houses for us to dwell in: neither have we vineyard, nor field, nor seed: 10 But we have dwelt in tents, and have obeyed, and done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us.”

Jeremiah 35:5-10

This family called the Rechabites provide a good illustration of what parents should strive to accomplish in the home. While the reason is not given for the things that were taught, it is obvious that the children had been taught how they were to live, not just while they were in the home, but after they were grown and were raising their own families. Every parent should ensure that their children are taught important things that will help them for the rest of their lives.

Boys should be taught masculinity. They need to be taught about sports, cars, fighting, strength, and toughness. They need to be taught to defend their mother and to take dad’s place in the home when he is gone by leading in prayer. Every boy should be groomed for one day becoming a father himself. Mothers should not be allowed to turn a boy into a girl by allowing him to grow his hair long or wear effeminate clothes.

Likewise, daughters need to be taught feminine things like sewing and cooking. They need to learn how to take care of dad as they
would a future husband by looking out for his needs. Why? Homosexuality, in addition to being a perversion, is also sexual disorientation. A child needs to be raised with very definite and clear-cut male and female roles. In our society where women are now flying jets and attack helicopters and men are staying home to raise the kids, that is a challenge!

THE FAMILY IS TO BE A PLACE OF PROTECTION!

“God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”

Psalm 68:6

When a deformed animal is born, it is usually abandoned and killed by other animals. However, when God created the family, He created a special place for people who were going to have problems in life.

The home is God’s nurturing place for the daughter born blind or the son who cannot walk. It is the place where the Downs-syndrome baby can feel the same joy and love as a normal child.

The home is the place where every man can come to at the end of the day and feel like a champion while the world has been trying to convince him he is a failure.

The home is God’s appointed place where woman, God’s most delicate creation, can be treated with love and dignity and respect.

The home is the place where broken hearts can be mended, tears can be wiped away, and Jesus Christ can be seen through the lives of Godly parents. Above all, the home is God’s appointed place for the will of God to be discovered by both parent and child alike.